I am pretty much broke until next month.  Nothing is organized, the way I like it.  I need a dining room table & chairs, I need a bed, I need another couch...the list is long and tedious.  I still have boxes of decorations and pictures all over.  I have to drag all my dirty clothes to the laundry mat every week.  But I'm happier, much happier than I've been in a long time.  I don't have to spend another holiday or special day having it ruined by some jerk who couldn't give a crap about anyone but himself.  And yay!  I got a new job, a permanent one.  I work 30 hrs. per week, $10.55 an hour, full benefits.  Yay!  I'm ecstatic.  It's a school job though so it doesn't start until July 20th.  But once that starts up, things will be so much better.  On top of what I get every month anyway... We will actually have money left over.  And the freedom is so nice.  Not having the yelling and the feeling of having to hide everything we do and walking around on pins and needles.  Not having to explain and justify every move I make, every phone call, everything I do.  And not having someone say everything I think..feel...and need is stupid.  Its lovely :D  So I can live without the other stuff for now and be content in my freedom. 

I finally moved out this weekend.  Well, we all did together.  I feel like a totally different person.  Kind of like I did when I left home at 18.  Too bad I'm not 18.  But I get a fresh start & hopefully I will do something relatively good with it this time.  I need some serious counseling though and first off I need to stop giving a shit what other people think of my f***ed up life.  Like the way things have turned out have been my choice.  I chose to leave two relationships, that combined lasted 20 frickin years of my life. 20!!!!  There was good and lots of bad.  But I don't totally wish to erase it all.  You can't go back, so you just accept what happened and move on.  Thats the step I'm at now and its hard.  Accepting that the two relationships that I invested so much time and energy and love and tears into...have fallen apart forever.  Anyway, I'm still much better off than living with the anger, abuse, and just wasted; monotonous torture of being with someone you know doesn't love you & basically wants to make your life hell.  So yay for me & the kids.  We are free!  :D

BTW!  Dial up sucks monkeys.  I get my DSL next week & couldn't be happier.

This was a really FUN [this would be implying sarcasm] weekend! Just one of those off times when you feel like everything is going wrong or you've had some bad mojo wished on you or something. But we made it through.

I wish!  Today my oldest daughter is graduating from High School.  And it waits till today to sink in.  I start getting all emotional thinking about when she was just a baby.  Stupid how those phrases you constantly hear start ringing true.  Like it does seem like yesterday.  And now I can't believe I'm sitting here typing this because I'm getting all weepy eyed.  Time just goes by so fast and you don't even realize it.  Well, looking on to the future, I suppose.  The one where I get to do this all over again in 2007....and then again in 2013...and then again in 2018!  OMG That's when it will really start sinking in.  Anyway, Congratulations Mikayla.  Love you so much & I am so proud to be your Mom.  Uh oh!  Weepy again.  :(  I will go for now before I get the keyboard wet. 

Yay! Frickin Yay!

Taylor won!  I was sad when Elliot was voted off.  Kind of made me think Taylor wouldn't win, either.  But I had this glimmering hope.  Yay!  He so deserved it.  It was plainly obvious and I'm not just saying that because I didn't want Katharine to win.  He actually made that pathetic excuse of a song (AI wrote for him) sound halfway decent.   And he managed to inject some Taylor into it!  Into every song he did.  Sorry, but for me Katharine was just a little boring and her voice just had this quality to it I didn't like???? She cracked under the nervous pressure, that last night, I think.  She just didn't sound that great. And last night even worse.  
But the main reason I didn't like her!!!!!!!  ??????? 

mrscutedean said:   

When you see this, post a quote from Supernatural in your Livejournal. Pass it on. 


There are just too many!  But my favorites are when the brothers start arguing with each other! So here's one.

Sam: Dean, what I said about Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.
Dean: Hey, no chick-flick moments.
Sam: Alright. Jerk.
Dean: Bitch.

I haven't updated in a week. But rather than bore you with what has been pissing me off this week or what has been making me sad. I will find some random piece of crap to slap up on my LJ so the people don't think I've slipped into a dark hole of oblivion. That way you don't have to be bored with my pathetic version of lifes little dramas this week.

Here's what I found: The Muppet Personality Test

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick. You're always willing to lend a helping hand. In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going. "15 seconds to showtime!"

I am not Scooter. Who the heck is Scooter? I think I'm more like Fozzy Bear or Gonzo??? What the crap?

BTW! Okay, and just because. I downloaded HIM 's version of Wicked Game. Which I thought I would hate; which is why I downloaded it. Because I love Chris Isaak's original. But it's actually good. And I don't even like HIM (the artist) What is up with HIM (the artist) anyway? That persona has got to be so contrived, I'm sorry.

I promised to come back after the show. But we actually rewatched like the last 20 minutes as soon as it was over.  Then we started discussing it and complaining, etc.  We couldn't absorb what we had seen. And wanted to figure out

So its the oddest thing.  I hardly ever just have the TV on just for the hell of it!  But after cleaning the house...yuck!  I turned the TV on and ended up on the TV Guide channel which is something I also never do.   Not being too swift, I finally realized that the whole hour is devoted to Supernatural shows on TV.  So now I'm paying attention, actual after I saw Jared doing several sound bytes.  It took me another 10 to realize...hmmmm?  why aren't you recording this.  (kicking self several times)  I will see if its going to repeat and then record the whole thing.

So far Jared's funniest sound byte:  They were reporting how producers and directors of the shows often scan the message boards to find out how the shows are sitting with the fans.  They switch to Jared speaking of how he often checks out the message boards.  He says he goes on the messages boards, mostly on the ones where it says..."Who's hotter, Jensen or Jared and he says he votes for himself!!!"  He cracks me up.  He's so adorable.  Mikayla found some lovely pictures of Jared.  (I will add them below) She doesn't even watch the show, but knows hes hot. 

Whoooo!  Will post again later on tonite after Supernatural.  I live for Thursday nights....

Okay, Supernatural's on and they are recapping the entire season in a montage to Kansas' "Carry On Wayward Son."  Frickin Awesome.  Near the end when Dad is talking to the boys and Sam says "Yes sir!" and Dean says "Yes sir!" and I scream! "Whew..."  And then Kaite screams, "Whew..."  And then we both start laughing.  They both look so hot and adorable.  So I will go watch the show now and see what's up.  This looks to be an awesome ep.  And for all those freaking out thinking Supernatural will be cancelled when UPN and WB merge.  All I can say is... Fuhgetabout-it!!!! There is no way in heck!  Just take some deep breaths for the next month or so, and have faith.  The boys will be back!